chocolate peanut butter crunch bars

i made a dessert yesterday as a special treat, because my family is kind of sick of easter candy. that's not to say we're anywhere close to eating all the easter candy in the house, but every time anyone wants a sweet snack, i push jelly beans and gummy bunnies on them. and so, to change it up a bit, and because i've already picked through everybody's basket and eaten the stuff i liked, i made something new.

let me share a bit of background on these fantastic bars first before i really get into talking about them. a few days ago, my hubby was pestering me to make him chocolate peanut butter fudge. and though i like to try and please him by making the treats he has a hunger for, i couldn't make that because i didn't have the necessary ingredients, and i really didn't feel like going to the store. i didn't feel like going to the store yesterday, either, but i knew my pantry was well stocked enough to churn out at least something special. i was not wrong.

i started with a basic brownie as the base of these bars. and though i could have gone with the homemade, totally from scratch route, i decided to keep this layer simple and easy. the only change i really made to the box mix i used was that i ran out of oil, so i used only half the oil called for and i used leftover coffee for the rest of the liquid, something i've done in the past.

while the brownie layer was baking, i knew i wanted to create a peanut butter layer. there are some very simple ones that just mix peanut butter with powder sugar and a little milk and graham cracker crumbs, and it creates a filling very similar to that of a reeses peanut butter cup (my hubby's favorite candy). initially i toyed with going in that direction, but then i decided to go all out and made peanut butter fudge instead. still, i wanted these bars to be simple and easy, because i was feeling lazy, so i went with the best microwave fudge recipe i knew of, from my hero alton brown. i timed it so that, just as the brownies came out of the oven, i finished the fudge and spread it on top. the fact that everything was still hot really helped it to spread.

while the first two layers were cooling in the fridge, i thought about how to finish these bars. i could have just used sprinkles for a festive touch. or i could have melted chocolate to drizzle over top for something fancier and more decadent. instead, i took inspiration from this post from the lovely blog cookies and cups, and made the topping that she used on her bars. because i liked the idea of a crunchy contrast to the smooth fudge and cakey brownie, i made her recipe but changed the peanut butter from smooth to crunchy, so not only was the top layer crispy from the cereal, but it also has bits of peanuts inside.

these bars were everything i hoped they'd be, and they were a huge hit with my family. all of the layers stacked together make for a very high and impressive treat. i made them in a 9x13 pan, and ended up cutting 20 pieces, but i know i could have made them smaller and nobody would have complained about not getting enough. they're definitely something i'll try to make again sometime, they'd be perfect for a party, dramatic and delicious and easily transportable. these chocolate peanut butter crunch bars are nearly the perfect treat.

peanut butter cookies

i made peanut butter cookies for my dear husband today. he asked, and though i said no, i still made them anyway. because i love him. and am insane. but mostly it's the love thing.

i originally said no because there is a ton of candy in the house at the moment. our children received easter candy from four different sources, so that's 12 total baskets that entered our home. it's a lot of candy, way more than my kids need to eat on their own. they honestly get candy from random sources all the time, but i never let them eat tons of it at once. i suppose that's the reason why, when i was condensing all the baskets and containers into three separate bags, i decided it was time to throw out all the old candy. most of it was from valentines day, though there was a surprising amount of candy canes left. what was frightening, though, was at the bottom of the candy bucket was still some leftover halloween candy, and a small bag that came from a special shop on the boardwalk, the one we went to last summer. so i guess i either have to start letting my kids eat more candy more often, or i need to go through the candy bucket more thoroughly.

anyway, i told him he could just eat candy instead of cookies. still, i completely understand when you get hungry for something, and though you can find a sweet substitute, it's not exactly the same as what you were hungry for. and then you end up disappointed. i certainly didn't want to be the source of my husband's disappointment, so i gave in a made cookies. plus, i figured i could use this as an opportunity to experiment.

i have made many different kinds of peanut butter cookies in my day. many from trusted sources. but none were exactly like the peanut butter cookie i was looking for. honestly, i like all my cookies to be soft and chewy, not fluffy and cakey or crisp and crunchy. the problem with peanut butter cookies, or at least all the recipes i've tried, is that they come out perfect, but once they cool to an eatable temperature, they become all hard and crunchy. i'll note that my hubby doesn't really care, cookies are cookies in his eyes, though he really does like the nice and chewy chocolate chip cookies that i make.

in fact, i used my chocolate cookie recipe as inspiration for the peanut butter cookies i made today. yes, today i went and made up my own recipe, which was a lot easier than i thought it would be. i knew i wanted a chewy cookie, and i remembered the trick from other recipes is to use all brown sugar. white sugar makes a crisp cookie, and the only difference between brown and white is the addition of molasses. so, when i made the peanut butter cookies today, i only used brown sugar, and i threw a few tablespoons of molasses in for extra insurance. i also remember that butter will make for a crunchier cookie, so i probably would have used shortening if i had any. instead i added extra peanut butter, because i figured that there was enough fat in the peanut butter to make up for the lack of any extra fat. that and i've come across a few peanut butter cookie recipes that don't add any extra fat or flour. it was that reason that i used very little flour in my recipe today, though i was too afraid to skip it completely. also, using my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe as a guide, i only used one egg, which made the batter too stiff, so i added some milk for additional liquid. i also added baking soda as per that recipe, because i wanted these cookie to rise a little.

the end result is exactly what i hoped it would be. the cookies have a nice outer shell around a chewy, very molasses-y center. the peanut taste is present, as it should be, but it's not overwhelming like eat a spoon of the stuff straight from the jar. i don't know yet how these cookies will hold up over the next few days, if they'll dry out and get crispy, but if i know my family, they won't last that long.

these cookies are a double win, as they are delicious, and a signal to myself that i am getting very comfortable in the kitchen. this isn't the first recipe i've successfully adapted, and i know it won't be the last.

feeling tropical

i'm kind of sick of winter. actually, i don't mind winter, i'm just kind of sick of this time of year. it's still cold and crappy, but then the next day the sun comes out and it's nice and warm. or the sun comes out, but it's so windy it only seems warm, and then when you step outside you realize how bitterly cold it really is. i wish the weather would just make up its mind.

so because the weather has had me down lately, i decided to push past spring and think about summer. warm tropical breezes, the sand and the sea, fruity drinks with paper umbrellas, all of these were my inspiration for a delicious beachy feast.

ok, i'll be real here, a while back i bought a lime flavored cake mix. last year i found pink lemonade flavored cake mix and cookie mix and frosting in a tub, and this year it's back with all its friends in lime flavors. so i broke down and bought the lime cake mix to try. and i decided to use it as a starting point for my tropical meal.

yes, i know, lime isn't overly tropical. but pair it with coconut and pineapple and it is. or at least in my head it is. so when i baked the cake mix, i decided to do a pina colada sort of frosting. or rather it was exactly a pina colada frosting because when i made it, i used pina colada mix in place of the milk and vanilla called for in the recipe, and i mixed in some shredded coconut for good measure. to get some extra pineapple flavor going on, i mixed a bit of crushed pineapple with some of the frosting and used that as a filling inside the cake. with extra coconut sprinkled on the outside of it, it looked very tropical indeed.

after dessert was done, i turned my thoughts to what we were going to eat for the main meal. i decided to try an easy recipe for coconut shrimp that i had found, because i was again stretching the limits of the definition of tropical food. the coconut shrimp was simply peeled and deveined, dipped in egg and then dredged in a mix of coconut and shake'n bake, then baked at 400 degrees for 10 minutes. it was super easy, and it was a recipe for breaded shrimp that didn't involve frying, so i figured i'd give it a whirl.

to pair with the shrimp, i looked up a recipe that was a mock up for the red lobsters sauce that they pair with their coconut shrimp. turns out it was the perfect way to use up some of the pina colada mix and pineapple that was left over after making the cake.

the meal itself was a hit. the shrimp was amazing, and definitely something i'll make again. i was actually surprised how crispy it got in the oven, but i guess that's due to the magic of shake'n bake. the dipping sauce i made to go with it was kind of weird honestly. for whatever reason, it called for powdered sugar, which i used, but it made the sauce overly sweet. it also wasn't very thick like i would have preferred, but then i don't think i boiled it for the 20 minutes the recipe called for. if i make it again, i'll definitely be tweaking the recipe so it's more to my liking.

the cake was ok, which was actually rather disappointing to me. i used a different recipe for the frosting, one that called for a higher butter to sugar ratio than i'm used to, so i'm not sure why i was so surprised when the finished product was so buttery, more buttery than i like. also, the pina colada mix didn't flavor it as much as i hoped, so if i try it again i think i'll add some coconut extract also, to help bump up the flavor. still, i thought it was edible, and lumpy and fishie liked it well enough. neither my hubby nor bumble would even try it, because the lime cake part was green. very very green. and both of them said they don't eat green cake.

i can't say the whole evening transported me to the tropics, but it was definitely something different, and different can be good. because sometimes different is all it takes to get me out of my winter blues, which was the point of the meal in the first place.

recipe collection

recipes have always been my things. they always make me smile. i read through them and imagine the smells that would be coming from my kitchen as i go through the steps, and of course i dream of what the finished dish might taste like.

for many many years now, i've been reading different cooking blogs. mostly the ones that focus on sugary treats. oddly enough, though i would page through my cookbooks at random, i was never into collecting books. but recipes from blog sites? totally different story.

maybe it's due to the fact that my digital recipe collection takes up no physical space. so there's no guilt about using up what precious little cabinet space i have now. also, cookbooks cost money, but copy-pasting text from various sites is free! and because i'm not using other peoples' amazing creations for profit or gain, i don't feel bad about collecting them for later.

well, i don't feel bad about using other peoples' recipes because i don't call them my own. but i did start to feel bad about the amount i have amassed. so many wonderful ideas for the kitchen, and so few i actually made. and yet i would continue to read blogs and click links and save files for later use.

finally, i realized it started bordering on the ridiculous. over 400 recipes taking up just over 8mb of space on my hard drive, i think i needed to slow down. and so i have. or at least i'm trying to.

now, though i still look every day, i've been more careful about what i save. there are so many recipes that look amazing to me, but i know i'd never make them. sometimes it's because my family would never eat it. sometimes it's because the ingredients are expensive or hard to find around here. or sometimes it's because the recipe is long and complicated. not to brag, but there aren't too many recipes that are above my skill set, it's just i don't have hours during the day to devote to making a particular dish.

unless it's a cake. i've spread super complicated cake recipes out over days, because i don't have the six hours it would have taken to make it all in one shot. but then, in my mind, some cake is just worth it.

no name cookies

i mentioned a few days ago about how i made an ice cream cake for my sister's wedding. and through trial and error and test cakes, it was decided that the chocolate cookie crunchies that are found in the middle of commercial ice cream cakes were a requirement in the one i was making.

but do you want to know a hard truth i learned? those cookie crunchies are made in that size. it can't be done by taking regular cookies and crushing them up. trust me, i tried. oreos, chocolate graham crackers, these things, none would crumble into the right size piece. either they would create huge chunks or dusty crumbs. and it didn't matter how i was trying to crumble stuff, i used my food processor, my hands, a bag and a rolling pin, nothing worked well. and so it was decided that we needed to buy the cookie crunchies already made.

but did you also know that those things are hard to find? at a reasonable price at least. and dairy queen told me they wouldn't just sell me a bag of them. so we trekked over to a restaurant supply store and found them. being that they're sold to restaurants and other commercial operations, they are sold in bulk. like in ten pound boxes. ten pounds of cookie crunchies is a lot. and the ice cream cake used surprisingly little.

and so, because i have a huge box of crunchies left, i've decided to get creative with them. because how many can you really eat over ice cream or mixed in yogert?

a few weeks ago, i smushed some into the side of a birthday cake. and a few days ago, i made peanut butter cookies.

the recipe i used for the cookies was one that, after you made the dough, you were supposed to roll small balls of it around in sugar before putting on a baking sheet and smashing slightly with forks. i've seen many recipes for peanut butter cookies written this way, and honestly i usually skip this step. i feel like cookies are unhealthy enough without the extra sugar stuck to the outside. but then i thought, what if i didn't skip this step? and what if, instead of plain old sugar, i rolled the peanut butter cookie dough around in chocolate cookie crunchies before smashing and baking? it was a crazy idea, but so crazy i figured it just might work.

and it did, even though my hubby took one look at them and thought that i had burnt them. the cookie crunchies didn't really crisp in the oven like i thought they might. in fact, they've absorbed some of the moisture from the cookies and gotten soft. also when my boys dunk the cookies in milk, the crunchy outside turns all mushy.

the only real problem i've had is trying to figure out what to call them. peanut butter cookies with chocolate crunchies? chocolate crunchie peanut butter cookies? peanut butter chocolate crunchie cookies? maybe i'll have to make them again to solved this dilemma.

my adventures with ice cream cake

once upon a time, a long long time ago, i made an ice cream cake for my sister's wedding. a huge ice cream cake. the most ridiculous ice cream cake i have ever made. really though, it's not hard to call it the most ridiculous, because i'm really not in the habit of making ice cream cake.

anyway, this was certainly the biggest i've ever made, because my goal as i set out was that it would be able to feed 60 people. so that's a lot of cake. lucky for me, i happen to have a pan that would be big enough to make that many servings. as a bonus, it just fit in my freezer. i thought it would be perfect.

and then i thought some more and realized that when i normally make cakes in this giant pan, they are the regular sort, the kind that take eggs and flour and sugar and get baked in the oven. and because this pan produces such huge cakes, i have something very sturdy that i use to turn them out on: a shelf that came out of an old wall unit. seriously. it's made of particle board and covered with a plastic veneer, and whenever i use it for cakes i usually cover it with foil so it looks all shiny and pretty. but it's perfect for my cake purposes, because the board itself is not heavy, and yet it doesn't bend or warp even when traveling with a 15 pound cake (and that i know from personal experience).

but the problem is that the board would not work to turn the ice cream cake out on. i needed something that i could turn the cake onto, and then set on top of a pan full of dry ice. it had to be something that wouldn't be damaged by the extreme cold and yet would transfer that cold into the cake sitting on top of it so that the ice cream wouldn't melt. and though the board is perfect for regular cakes, wood doesn't transfer cold so well.

my mother came up with a wonderful solution, she bought a full sized sheet pan that i could use. and yet it was not a perfect solution, because a full size sheet pan is not meant to be used outside of commercial kitchens. the sheet pan was too big to fit in my freezer.

and so we had to trouble shoot some more, and figure out a solution. and eventually we did, though i'll admit it made for a less than elegant execution.

i started the ice cream cake making process by lining my huge cake pan with plastic wrap. then i took cartons of ice cream (the flavor of choice happened to be rocky road), peeled off the cardboard container and sliced it into half inch thick pieces. i laid those in the bottom of the pan, and used the heat from my hands to melt everything into one giant layer. then i covered it with more plastic wrap and put in back in the freezer to harden.

the next day i took out the pan and spread marshmallow fluff over the first layer. i used marshmallow instead of the normal fudge because i thought it worked better with the rocky road flavor. then i spread a generous layer of cookie crunchies on top of the fluff. did you know that cookie crunchies are hard to find in a regular store? and did you know, if you do have to turn to a restaurant supply store, they only sell them in 10 pound boxes? it's true, i know from experience, which is why i could be so generous with the crunchy layer. then i covered my work and put it back in the freezer to set.

once the cake was hard again, i cut more blocks of ice cream to make the bottom layer, exactly like i had done with the first layer. i then froze it overnight before i turned it out onto my cake board and covered it with white chocolate whipped cream frosting. yes, i used the wooden board, covered with parchment, because the board fit in my freezer. plus it was easier to travel with. the parchment meant that all i had to do was slide an offset spatula under it and slide it onto the full sheet pan at the reception.

it was a great plan, except for the fact that the wedding coordinator decided to be help and set the ice cream cake up. but she didn't remove the wooden board first, and by the time it was noticed, the cake had already begun to melt. not that it was really her fault, because there had been a breakdown in communication. she didn't know my plan, and i didn't know of her help. still, the cake was a hit, even though it was a bit soft. and there was more than enough to go around.

still, i don't think i'll be making another ice cream cake anytime soon. though i do have a lot of cookie crunchies on my hands. but i think i can come up with some creative uses for them.

my favorite holiday

it's almost thanksgiving! seriously i am so ridiculously excited. it is my most favorite holiday of the year. i love it so much i made a huge thanksgiving dinner for my birthday one year, and my birthday's in july. i can still remember the first time i tried to roast a turkey, i was only 12. it's like my christmas. in fact i think it's way better than christmas.

not that i have anything wrong with those that consider christmas their favorite holiday. i don't like it because for me it always gets awkward. the gift giving and the gift getting, why does it always seem required?

take away the presents and commercialism from christmas, and you're left with special traditions and spending quality time with family and friends, and that is everything i love about thanksgiving. that and of course the food!

i'm a huge foodie, just in case you haven't realized it yet. reading about it, researching it, making it, and of course eating it. food for me is way more than simple nourishment, it calms and comforts and brings people together. i love trying new things, whether it's eating them or making them.

unfortunately, it's been many years since i was able to host thanksgiving dinner. it doesn't stop me every year from looking forward to all the articles and sites dedicated to thanksgiving recipes. and the fancy table settings. and the cute kid crafts. and the new themes.

still, even though i might not be in charge of the whole meal, whenever we spend the holiday with my inlaws i am in charge of the desserts. and i kinda think that's the best part anyway. from making my grandmother's pumpkin pie recipe to trying new apple desserts, thanksgiving always gives me the chance to continue traditions and get creative with new favorites. for me, it really is the best time of the year.

french toast casserole

i've talked here about my love of breakfast, especially for dinner. brunch is right up there close to the top of the list of things i enjoy stuffing in my face. i've also mentioned how my dear hubby is not a fan of breakfast for dinner. or breakfast in general. in fact, i have a feeling if he could eat fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy three times a day, he'd be a very happy man.

lucky for me, my kids share my affinity for breakfast for dinner. and it just so happens that my hubby has entered a few weeks of intense schooling. like he leaves at about 1145am, goes to school all day, then to work, and doesn't return home until 3 or 4am. it's a very long day for him, and at times it's trying for me because i am forced to deal with the little godzilla known as fish all by myself. but because he doesn't eat dinner with us, the kids and i are free to eat whatever we'd like. so of course that means breakfast.

when faced with the monumental task of making breakfast for dinner, i have a few simple recipes that are easy to whip up. i've made baked oatmeal a number of times, loaded with apples and raisins, and my kids all love it. i also have a few different french toast type casseroles that are easy to assemble and then pop in the oven. really, preparing things ahead and then baking them off is totally my style, though i have made pancakes in various flavors a time or two.

when they were younger, i used to make bacon to go along with our breakfast style treats, but, as crazy as it may seem, my kids are not fans anymore. in fact, lumpy has completely lost his love of bacon, and won't eat it even if you force him. i consider not including meat in our menu as marginally healthier, seeing that most breakfast meats, like bacon and sausage, are filled with fat. and less fat from meat mean more syrup without the guilt. according to my boys, of course.

so last night, my kids and i had breakfast for dinner. and i decided to keep it simple and make a french toast casserole. this time i decided to be brave and make one without using a recipe. i've made enough french toast in my day that i figured i was up to the challenge. i also kept in mind that i wasn't just making french toast, i was making a casserole, so instead of the standard mix of eggs and milk and sugar, i threw in some mashed overly ripe bananas. because of the bananas, i decided to add cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg, to mirror my favorite banana bread recipe. i also switched out the plain sugar for brown, because i figured the richer flavor would work better, though i didn't use much because i knew my kids would be covering it with syrup. i also used whole wheat bread instead of white, because i'm trying to get my kids to eat healthier. with a splash of vanilla, i mixed everything together and let it sit overnight in the fridge. before i baked it off the next day, i mixed up a crumbly topping of brown sugar, flour, butter, and spices.

the casserole baked up beautifully, and all the kids loved it. even though i added four bananas, their flavor wasn't as pronounced as i would have liked. the casserole wasn't overly sweet on its own, which is exactly how i intended it to be, because like i knew would happen, my boys slathered their pieces with syrup. and of course, the crumbly topping was my favorite part. all in all, it was a dinner success, and so easy i can definitely repeat it for a more appropriate breakfast or brunch dish. or maybe i'll add some peanut butter and chocolate chips next time, and call it bread pudding for dessert.

let's talk birthdays and cake

so i happen to have a large nuclear family, with a random assortment of hangers-on. that fact means many things logistically. first and foremost, it means that the holidays are absolutely nuts. who we're spending which holiday with and when and how long we will be staying, it gets a little crazy. vacations are equally complicated. and birthdays, birthdays are the worst.

the problem with birthdays, as in my kids' birthdays, is that our random family is spread far across the state. so to have a huge party with all the family is complicated. it means that one side or the other will have to travel. my side doesn't have a problem traveling up town, but there aren't many good places for parties around where my in-laws live that can easily (and cheaply) accommodate so many. my parents have the space to have everybody, but not everybody is able to travel so far so, what with kids in school and people working weekends. the solution (which i hate) is that we end up having separate parties for the kids. i didn't always envision myself as a mom, but when i did, i always wanted to have all my family from both sides together to celebrate all the important times in my children's lives. and that just doesn't happen often.

but there is a plus about having such a large conglomeration of people that i get to call family, many people means many birthdays. and in my mind, a birthday is just a good excuse for cake (like i really need a good excuse). but this post happens to be about an epic cake i recently made for a joint party for my sister and one mom, so let's talk about that.

i wanted this cake to be special, and i was scouring recipes, looking for the perfect one. and then i asked my sis lots of random questions about her cake preferences. i know she doesn't like chocolate and peanut butter together, because she's crazy like that, but i also found out she doesn't have a sprinkle preference. who doesn't have a sprinkle preference? she's the first i've found. she also said she prefers vanilla cake to chocolate, which gave me a good starting point.

now i know i've talked about how i like to use cake mixes before. and vanilla cake is a kind that you can find very good mixes for. but i wanted this cake to be special, so i started researching vanilla cake recipes online. i found many, some very complicated, some much simpler, but the unifying quality in all the highest rated recipes was that they all used cake flour. which was fine by me, because this was just the excuse i needed to buy cake flour for the first time.

then, after settling on the vanilla cake recipe i was going to use, i started searching for filling and icing recipes. i knew the outside would be covered with chocolate cookie crunchies, because i had a bunch left over from the ice cream cake i made for my sister's wedding (which will be discussed in another post), and i needed to use them up. so i decided to try and make a chocolate filling of sorts. i found a recipe for a chocolate pastry cream which seemed well within my skill level, and i made that. it was delicious, and only after it was done did i realize it was also basically homemade chocolate pudding.

i wanted something a little different for the icing. because the filling was so sweet, and i didn't know how sweet the actual cake would be, i wanted something tangier for the frosting. so of course that meant making a cream cheese icing. and because i can't leave well enough alone, i added some melted white chocolate while it was beating, because i wanted a hint of chocolate in the icing to compliment the chocolate filling on the inside and the chocolate crunchies on the outside.

overall, the cake was a hit. because i wasn't paying attention, i ended over baking the cake layers, and they were a little dry. the combination of the frosting and the cookie crunchies produced a taste just like an oreo, so that might be something i'll try to replicate in the future. because it ended up being three layers, with all the filling and everything else, it was a very rich cake, and could have easily served 20. all in all, i call it a success.

one banana, two banana, three banana, bunch!

my dear hubby is weird. he doesn't really like cream cheese, but he likes cheese cake. and he likes mustard and honey, but he hates honey mustard. also, he's not a fan of coffee, but likes chocolate cake better when i add some in. and he hates mayo, but loves macaroni salad that is made with mayonnaise. like i said, he is weird.

something else he doesn't really like is vanilla pudding. but he's told me he likes banana pudding. the kind with bananas and nilla waffers and vanilla pudding all mixed together. i don't really get it, but a few days ago we had some very ripe bananas, so i figured i'd surprise him with some banana pudding.

honestly, i had no idea what i was doing, because i'd never really had banana pudding before. i tried it once, when we went out to a buffet, but it just tasted like vanilla pudding with banana slices mixed in. i had asked him about it while i was eating it, and he said it wasn't banana-y enough.

so when i made him his surprise banana cream pie, using a premade pie shell (which was much cheaper than a box of nilla waffers, weird right?), i decided to make it extra banana flavored, which i thought he'd like. so not only did i layer sliced bananas on the bottom crust, i also smushed extra bananas and mixed them into the vanilla pudding that i spread into the crust next. and then of course i spread whipped cream on top.

well, when he tried it, he was confused by my execution, because he said there was too much banana in it. turns out out he didn't remember talking about the bad banana pudding at the restaurant, and that the vanilla pudding, to be authentic, should have remained plain. also, it didn't really set up like i thought it would, and i had to use a spoon to get it out. and, the next day, the pudding started to separate, which i think might have had something to do with all the banana in it.

so though it tasted ok the first day, it got really strange looking the next day. if i ever try to make it again, i think i'll try using an actual recipe. who ever would have thought that making banana pudding too banana-y would be a bad thing.

wedding cookies, part 3

so my dear sister's wedding is fast approaching. and i am tasked with making many cookies for the reception. unfortunately, she hasn't been very specific with the kinds or amounts, and i am a person that needs a lot of specific direction. and so, with the lack of specifics, i have been trying many different recipes. because though i am creative, with a task like this i get overwhelmed by all the possible options.

the latest test run for possible cookie candidates was something my sister had told me about awhile ago. there had been a bake sale at her job, and one of the ladies made brownies in cupcake papers. and inside of those brownies, she stuck oreo cookies. now this is not a new concept to me, i had read about this a few months ago when oreo had their 100th birthday. there were many celebratory recipes that used oreos floating around on the foodie blogs i follow. i had never tired to make them, though, because honestly, i'm not a big fan of oreos.

still, because it's for her wedding and she said she liked them, i figured i'd try. and being that there are little mini oreos on the market, i figured i can try making them in mini muffin cups, so they're smaller and cuter and bite-sized. plus then you can eat a few and not feel bad.

though i had settled on the kind of baked good i was going to attempt, i realized that my mini muffin tins were at my mom's house, where i had forgotten them. still, i wanted to try this recipe ahead of time, just to see how it bakes up, and how long it last before going stale. and so, i just used a 9x13 pan.

honestly, i think they came out ok. fishie helped stick the oreos in the pan after i poured half the brownie batter. then we carefully spread the rest of the batter over top of the oreos and baked it according to the package directions. they took longer to bake than i thought they would, and the cookies seemed to have almost dissolved into the baked brownies. still, my kids liked them well enough. and i think they will definitely work for the cookie trays. especially since i can do many at one time, and they stay fresh tasting for a few days. so bonus points all around.

i also think that these oreo brownie bites are going to be the last trial cookie that i make. the rest of the tray will be filled out with tried and true recipes that i know work well. now all i have to do is create a shopping list so i can get all the ingredients that i need, starting with fifty pounds of flour and ten pounds of butter.

bread is the best distraction

yesterday, i baked something. shocking i know. ok, really that's not the shocking part, because i bake all the time. it's like cheap and delicious therapy for me. but, the difference between yesterday's oven fun and most other times is that what i baked wasn't a sugar laden dessert. see, i told you it was shocking.

this week has been a crazy week of craziness. and i really needed something fun and delicious to take my mind off of things. something that was on the healthier, less sugary side of things. and i needed something to occupy not only my mind but also my hands. what's better for that than kneading bread? and so i searched my archives of recipes and found the perfect one. this one in fact, though slightly modified.

side note: if you haven't noticed, i love joy the baker, that lady is amazingly fantastic. i've linked to her a bunch of times here, but if you have any interest in cooking and baking, you should follow her yourself. she's down to earth real, plus her recipes are so yum. i know, weird plug, but i'm realizing this is like the tenth time i've linked her, so i figured it bears mentioning how much i respect her. plus, she has her own cookbook, just in case you want to get me a random present for being so awesome or something.

anyway, i followed the recipe as closely as i could. i don't have bread flour, so i just used all purpose. for those that don't know, bread flour has a higher protein content, so it is more glutenous and produces a chewier bread. the other small problem i had was that my yeast was very old. i was able to bloom it, but after adding the water/yeast mixture to the flour, the dough didn't raise as much as it should have. because of that, the end result was very dense. i also changed up the spices called for in the original recipe. i used extra garlic and dried thyme, skipped the pepper flakes, and sprinkled coarse salt and cracked pepper on the top before i baked it.

in the end, i was successful in baking a loaf of bread to go along with the soup i made for supper. it was dense, and because of the olive oil in the pot, the bottom got very crispy. the flavor was very nice. i think it'll go better next time if i have more lively yeast. also, i'm thinking that if i throw a handful or so of parmesan cheese in the dough, it'll be even better. but it was nice to find out that i can make a loaf of bread from start to finish in less than three hours, it's definitely something that i'll attempt again.

wedding cookies, part B

i'm making cookies for my sister's wedding. i've already started testing recipes. the whole shindig has a fall theme going for it, so i started out with pumpkin cookies.

they were a hit. even with the chunky pieces of oatmeal in them, i was told that the texture was good. i had baked them, iced some of them, and then stored them in the fridge overnight, and i have to say that i liked the texture and flavor much better the next day. somehow, they tasted even more pumpkin-y, and it almost made the maple cream cheese frosting unnecessary. almost.

the same time i made the pumpkin cookies, i broke out a recipe that i've had for years, but never actually tried. they're called walnut acorn cookies, because the finished product looks like acorns and is filled with walnuts. in fact, the recipe is very close to the brown sugar shortbread cookies we always make at christmas time. it's mostly flour, brown sugar, and melted butter all mixed together. finely chopped walnuts are added to the dough, and then it's rolled into small egg shapes and baked. after they're cool, the tops are dipped in chocolate and then rolled in more finely chopped walnuts, and i also added a slivered almond, attached with melted chocolate, for a stem at the top.

they turned out adorable, everybody knew they were supposed to be acorns. and the taste was very good. they spread a lot more than i thought they would, but i can prevent that next time by chilling the trays before baking. that should help them to keep they're cute little shape and not spread into big cookies. i also need to figure out a better way to attach the almond stem, because i thought it was very cute with it, but it didn't stay on some of the cookies. also, i stored them in the fridge with the pumpkin cookies, because i didn't want the chocolate to melt, but i liked the flavor of them much better when they were at room temperature. i'm realizing, though, that cold cookies won't be a problem, because they'll be set out on trays and readied for the guests to show up, so there will be plenty of time to come to room temperature.

the other fun thing about making these cookies is that i had a bunch of melted chocolate left over after dipping all the cookies. which of course meant that i got to dip all sorts of other things. like pretzel sticks. and ice cream cones, which were then rolled in sprinkles. making cookies is hard work, but somebody has to do it.

wedding cookies, part one (probably)

i've started testing recipes for the cookies i'm planning on making for my sister's wedding at the end of october. she's doing a fancy fall theme, so i wanted to try out a few fun, new recipes, more than just my standard chocolate chip or peanut butter. because while those are great cookies, this is a chance to do something fancy and extra special.

not that i'm going super fancy and fiddly. like those sugar cookies that are covered with royal icing. like these or these. the fantastic ladies that make those cookies have skills i could only dream of. i have a feeling they also might have a bit more free time and counter space then i have.

instead of going crazy and trying something that i believe is out of my skill set, i am going to try and stick to cookies that are pretty and taste good, instead of just looking fantastic and tasting so-so (have you tried royal icing? it's like fondant, gorgeous and gross). and in keeping with the fall theme, i've been researching pumpkin flavored cookies. and because i'm going to be making tons of cookies, i've not only been looking for yummy recipes, but also easy ones that will make a lot at a time.

oddly enough, the first pumpkin cookie i decided to try really isn't a pumpkin cookie, the recipe is technically for banana cookies. but reading over the recipe made me realize that the cookies would be soft like banana bread, which made me realize that banana bread and pumpkin bread are very similar recipes. and so, instead of using banana, i used a can of pumpkin. the cookies came out soft and chewy, and making them with my small cookie scoop i got five dozen out of one batch. they're also covered with a yummy and totally necessary maple cream cheese frosting. seriously, i tried them plain and then frosted, and they really need the frosting. the only thing i don't like is that the recipe uses oatmeal as a binder, and i only had old fashion oats. because the pieces are so big, it's almost the consistency of an oatmeal cookie, which is not what i was going for. i think if i make them again, i'll use quick cook oats, which are smaller pieces.

i've already tried out other recipes, and researched tons more. over the next few weeks, i'll be discussing them. if anybody out there has any ideas for improving or suggestions for fall flavored cookies i can try, please let me know.

my life at the moment

so much is going on in my life right now, and all of it is boring. or rather, not boring to me, just boring to write about. and so, i've been at a loss of words for this space, which makes me feel bad and neglectful. and so here is a run down of my life at the moment, until i think of something more clever to share.

i've been carting kids to random doctors for things. last night i got to stay with fish for her sleep study. she had one done last summer, and then because she stopped breathing for minutes at a time, which is supposedly really bad or something (sarcasm!), they took her tonsils and adenoids when they put the tubes in her ears. the tubes weren't because she was sleeping poorly, it was because when she got an ear infection, it swelled and burst through her ear drum. so pussy, bloody drainage made me think something might be a little off. and then to go through hearing tests and fail them all and be considered clinically deaf, that was super fun too. but now, after getting tubes, she can hear, and better than her doctors thought. you know, because it's super awesome when you take your kid in for a follow-up visit and the doctor is so surprised that there was no permanent damage or deafness, not that they told you it was a possibility. anyway, now we get to wait a month before we go back to hear the results of this latest sleep study. because i'm not really sure what the plan of action will be, but sleeping beside her last night made me realize how many times she stops breathing again.

so, to tide us over until we can go back to the doctor for dear fish, tomorrow i get to take my clan to bumble's nine year check up. there, i get to hear all about how he's off the chart for his height and his weight from a brand new doctor, because the guy we had been seeing decided to leave the practice and go teach pediatric medicine at the hospital where lumpy and fish see their specialists. i keep hoping to run into him so i can say hi. and beg him to come back. and also, because it's fall, it can only mean one special thing. that's right, flu shots for all! here's hoping for no adverse reaction.

besides getting good use out of our health insurance, i've also been thinking fun fall recipes. because it's apple time again. and pumpkin time. and i love fall so much. it's my favorite food season of all. fresh in summer is nice, and cozy in winter is good, and the delicate flavors of spring are ok, but i live for cinnamon and cloves and sage, roast chickens and pies and caramel. thinking about everything just makes me smile.

what's even better this year is that i'm thinking fall cookies. my lovely sister is getting married, and she asked me to make cookies for the reception, because she knows i'm kind of into that sort of thing. i have about six weeks to figure it all out, but already i've got a list of recipes i want to try. thankfully, i know enough willing test tasters who will give me their honest opinions.

so yeah, that's what i've got going on. plus all three of my boys are back in school. and cub scouts started back up. and then there's always the normal cooking and cleaning and laundry to be done. so while it's all exciting (or necessary) to me, it's not much to talk about. i promise, though, i'll try harder to find topics to fill this space.

cupcakes and birthday guilt

so i might have mentioned last week that on saturday was my dear bumble's birthday. we had a busy weekend of fun planned, including an awesome party. so even though i wouldn't be able to personally make a cake for him, i thought he'd still have a good birthday. and then the fates conspired against us.

he wanted an angry bird's themed party, which i hadn't been able to find in any of the stores, so i ordered the supplies online. i used the same site that i've used for years, like since bumble turned four, and usually everything goes perfectly. this time, though, things went all wonky. we moved and i put in our new address, but they still had the old one on file, and their system got all confused and said it couldn't verify our address. so i had to call and get things straightened out, and they promised that i would get the supplies by friday, because that's when we were leaving. but i didn't get them. i didn't get the box until monday, when it was way too late.

so, we went up town anyway, figuring that we would be able to find something that would work for the party. the plan was that my father-in-law was going to take my boys out quad riding saturday, and then i would have all day to prepare for the party that was taking place that evening. then it stormed, and they couldn't go. now, part of the fun of riding is that they get all messy and muddy, but we had to draw the line at thunder and lightening. honestly, i think lumpy was more upset then bumble, but still, it wasn't the fun day they were supposed to have.

in the end, the party came together well enough. i tried to make up for the fact that we didn't have angry birds by decorating with every balloon and streamer we had. and he said he loved his cake, even though it came from the store.

when we came home, we had another small party with my family for bumble. he got chinese food and a lovely cake made by my sister. still, it was more like all of us hanging out together then a real party, in my mind at least. again, he said he had a good time, but then he's also not one to complain.

honestly, it's one of those crazy things that i build up in my mind. everybody said that everything went well. and the birthday boy himself was happy. so why did i think that i failed somehow? i kept thinking that, because things went wrong, i had to keep making things up to him. but no matter what i did, it didn't seem like it was good enough. still, that's a problem i have with so many things in regards to my kids. i always want to give them more and do better, and when i can't live up to the ridiculously high standards i set for myself, i feel like i'm not worthy or good enough. it's an issue i have that i'm working on, and maybe one day i'll be better.

not yet though. because i feel like i failed over the weekend, i decided to try and make it up to him by making cupcakes that he was able to share at his first cub scout meeting on monday. and because one of the boys in his den isn't a fan of chocolate, i made funfetti cupcakes with extra sprinkles. and for something extra fun and different, i made blue cotton candy flavored frosting (which isn't hard when all i had to do was make standard butter cream and add this). with extra sprinkles on top, of course.

it's cookies AND candy... and birthday thoughts

i have a lot going on in my life right now. my dear bumble turns nine on saturday, and life has gotten so busy that i won't be able to make his cake. which is a big deal for me. the worst part is that he is having two parties, and i am so busy in the next couple of days that i don't have time to make a cake for either of them.

i feel awful. this is a huge fail for me. though it's not like i haven't bought him a cake from the store before. honestly, as long as there is cake, i don't think he really care where it comes from. but i care. and i know. and i keep records.

and so, to try and make myself feel better for this coming fail, and a host of others that are currently happening, i have decided to sooth my family's troubles with something sweet. or, more accurately, i have decided to sooth my own conscience and assuage my guilt with chocolate.

looking through my recipe stacks, i've settled on trying something new. it involves melting chocolate and mixing it with a whole package of crushed oreos, and a can of sweetened condensed milk. after you let it cool a bit so they don't melt right away, you mix in chocolate chips. then you press the whole mess in a foil lined pan, cool in the fridge, and eat.

i've never made these bars before, but i imagine that they won't set completely hard, like a chocolate bar. the reason is because the ridiculously easy fudge recipe i have is just chocolate chips and sweetened condensed milk melted together and cooled. so even those these bars use less melted chocolate and have crushed cookies in them, i feel they'll have a fudgey consistency. which also means that i can cut the pieces smaller to make them last longer. it also means they'll probably be very sweet. and that i'll need to keep them in the fridge. however they turn out, i know that these bars will be a hit with my family. we like all of the ingredients separately, so mixed together means it should be even better.

and whether i make these bars or not, i do understand that my dear bumble is not worried about his birthday. he's happy to know there will be cake and quad riding and games at one party and chinese buffet dinner at the other, so he's content with the fact that he'll get to do so many of his favorite things. it's more that i am trying to make myself feel better because i think i let him down then that he feels bad, because he doesn't think i've done anything wrong. i blame the mommy-guilt, but that's a topic for another time.

chocolate and peanut butter and pretzels, oh my

everybody has different ways of coping with stress. if you've read this blog for any length of time, you'd know that how i cope is with sugar. candy and cookies and cakes are all great stress relievers for me. and i don't just mean eating, though that helps. for me, it's more the process of making that helps me get back in a more stable frame of mind.

the problem, at the moment, is that my family and i are trying to eat healthier. and it's hard to be healthy with tempting treats hanging around. so to help make things easier on everybody, i haven't been making many sweets. but sometimes i feel like i just have to. because my mind gets whirling and worried, and i just don't know what to do with myself. and even though most of what worries me is stuff that most more stable people wouldn't be bothered by, i just can't help it. i'm told to just stop freaking out, but that's definitely easier said than done.

and so, i've decided to get more creative with the sweets and treats i make. some recipes are easier to adapt than others. like the one i made yesterday.

i started by making a pretzel crust, which is exactly like a graham cracker crust, only using pretzels instead of crackers. so i mixed crushed pretzels, melted butter, and a little sugar, then baked and cooled it completely. then came the filling. the first layer was a mix of chocolate pudding (i used the sugar free kind), peanut butter, a little milk, and cool whip (which was fat free). the next layer was a little more peanut butter and the rest of the cool whip tub. the layers were spread over the crust, and then the pan went into the fridge to set.

it tasted really nice, with the salty crunch of the crust complimenting the sweet smoothness of the filling. and i'm not sure if it was the peanut butter or that i used so little milk, but the pudding layer held together so well that i was able to cut nice, clean squares, something that usually doesn't happen when i make pudding desserts. my hubby especially loved it, and was super thrilled to find that it wasn't too bad for him, with the butter in the crust being the worst component. if i make it again, i'll probably omit the sugar, because everything was so sweet, i don't think i needed it.

so everyone in the family was happy. they all got something yummy to eat, and i got a bit of stress relief. after this weekend it over, i know we'll be closer to a set schedule, and things will be more normal around here. and i know i just need to hold on and make it through the next couple of days without a major freak-out. if nothing else, i'll go back to my old ways and make some caramel and burn my tongue by licking the spoon. i am contant if nothing else.

stupidly easy cinnamon rolls

after a bit of crazy and a lot of absence, i am hoping to get back into this posting thing. school starts in two days, and with that comes a pretty solid routine that allows for some free time during the day. still, i have found the time to play with sugar and my oven, and i figured i'd try to put things back to normal by sharing my latest experiment.

i've been going through my pantry and fridge and freezer, marveling at all the random things i've purchased for recipes that i never made. there are cans of things and odds and ends of so much stuff that i feel i really need to start using more and wasting less. not that the stuff in the pantry gets wasted, because it has such a long shelf life, but the stuff in the fridge sometimes languishes in a dark corner on the bottom shelf, and when i pull it out i cringe at the long passed expiration date.

like the last time i went grocery shopping, i bought apples, and when i brought them home i put them in the crisper drawer. it's sad to say it's been so long since i've bought something to put in that drawer, i didn't realize i had a tube of crescent rolls stashed there. ones that had expired a few weeks ago. and i just happened to find this tub of dough a few days ago, but i left it in there because i kept thinking it might still be kind of good.

i know this might sound gross to some people, and might make them change their minds about eating things i make, but honestly, when the food in question is so processed with chemicals, as long as it doesn't smell sour or look off, i figure it will still be ok to cook with. and especially when it's something that's baked, it'll be cooked thoroughly, and the most that happens is that the leavening agent is so old it doesn't puff up like it should.

and so, after thinking for a few days about what exactly i should do with this magical tube of fun, i settled on something different that i wanted to try. and when i searched for recipes to try, i couldn't find any. which just meant i'd have to make it up as i went along.

i love cinnamon rolls, always have, always will. when we went to the beach a few weeks ago, there were coupons for the recently constructed cinnabon, but i was very bummed that i was unable to find it. and i have made different versions of cinnamon rolls of the years. i've made the standard yeast version that i talked about in my old post. i've made ones with biscuit dough. and today, i used creasent roll dough.

seriously, i have no idea why i've never done this earlier. all i did was pop the dough out of the tube and put it on a piece of wax paper so it wouldn't stick to my count. parchment paper would work, as would a rolling mat, or even some flour sprinkled down (but i was feeling lazy and didn't want to clean flour from everywhere). then i rolled it out it help close the seems and make a bigger rectangle. i actually had to put another piece of wax paper on top of the dough because it was so sticky, but i think it was extra sticky because it was so old. once it was nice and thin, i spread soft butter and sprinkled over cinnamon and sugar. then i rolled it up and cut it into 12 pieces, put it into a well greased 8x8 pan and baked it. because i couldn't find another recipe like this one (and there might be one out there because i didn't look very hard), i baked it at 375, which is kind of my standard baking temp. and, as my mother says, i baked until done, which meant golden brown and delicious.

i used probably way more butter and sugar than i needed, and it baked out of the bottom of the rolls. once cool, this just gave them a crunchy, crusty, sugared bottom. and i liked them enough like that so i didn't even bother with an icing glaze. they didn't puff up much, but i wasn't really expecting them to. i think if i ever try to make these again, i'll use the new creasent sheets they came out with, that don't have the perforation to make rolls. then i could skip the rolling pin step and get them into the oven in less then five minutes. all in all, not bad for for a random recipe i made up on the fly to try and waste less.

happy mother's day from around the world!

yes, i know the real mother's day was a while ago. but my sisters and i always do a big dinner event, and it always ends up happening during the last week of june. all of us leave very different, yet super busy, lives, and it's when we can all get together to make the magic happen. even though it's always late, all of our mothers always feel super special, which they should. we all have multiple moms, and every one of them is very important to us.

so every year, we pick a place from around the world, and have a special dinner based on that theme. the food, the music, the decorations, all of it is made by us, by hand, and based on one specific location. most have been places we've been, but some have just been places we enjoy or wish we could go.

it all started many years ago, like back in 1999 or so, with a high tea. we served little sandwiches and assorted teas and little cakes. it was such a huge success, we've repeated the event almost every year, inviting more moms as they've joined our large and nontraditional family.

after the high tea, we did hawaii, with fish dishes and lots of pineapple. then there was new orleans, where we had a crayfish boil and beignets and lots of zydeco music. we did a carnival theme, where we played games like ring toss, ate corn dogs and homemade funnel cake, and even had a pie eating contest. after that was a carribean theme, with jerk chicken, fried plantains, and tropical flavors ices. next was a kentucky derby theme, because the party fell on the day of the race. we ate mashed potatoes and fried chicken, drank sweet mint tea, and had strawberry pie for dessert, and everybody got a fancy hat to wear. then we did greece, and decorated with grapes and lots of white and blue. we ate olives and feta, spanakopita and dolmadakia, and of course, baklava. after greece, we had a spanish theme, with many tapas and a huge paella. then we did germany, and had pretzels with various mustards, good dark breads, and spatzle and schnitzel. and, with my love of baking, i made a huge german chocolate cake. that brings us to last year, where we made french food. appetizers includes a cheese platter, then french onion soup, coq au reisling, and homemade salted caramels for a take-home snack.

this year, i decided to challenge myself. my sister suggested india, a cuisine and culture i am not really familiar with, but i still agreed. and yesterday, we transported all of the mothers to india. we danced, my sister gave henna tatoos, and we ate. i helped to make so many things i've never had before, like aloo tikki (a fried potato patty), pakora (a deep fried vegitable fritter), chicken tikka masala, chana masala (a chickpea dish), and chapati (a flat bread). for dessert i made kheer (a very loose rice pudding) and kulfi (an ice cream). everyone said it was a great success. even though i've never had most of the dishes, so i didn't know if they turned out how they were supposed to, i can still say i thought everything was delicious.

now i'm already thinking about "where" we should go next year.