my quote of the moment: "if you can attain repose and calm, believe that you have seized happiness." ~julie-jeanne-eleonore de lespinasse

November 8, 2012

sick kids that are not sick

so you might not think it from looking at him, but my dear lumpy is frail and sickly. like seriously, just because he's bigger then almost everyone else his age, he seems to get sick a lot. but he's a trouper and deals with it well. after so many years of taking so many meds everyday, he's kind of gotten used to popping pills and chugging shots out of medicine cups and taking his puffer when he needs it.

and he's been feeling so much better lately. in fact, we've been able to wean him off of almost everything that he was taking on a daily basis. he only has to take his allergy medicine, and soon we get to stop that until spring. of course we still have to monitor him closely, because if he starts to slip, the it's back to the regime of puffs and pills.

still, i worry about him and his health. part of it is because there is so much unknown with his sickness, the hope has always been he'd grow out of whatever was the cause, but there was never anything definite beyond that hope. the other, bigger part that causes me worry is that i feel responsible for how everything was handled in the very beginning. he was young and had the flu. i was in contact with his pediatrician, and we pushed fluids and gave tylenol and i decided to wait a few days to see if he got worse. and then he collapsed and we took him to the er and all hell broke loose. and i still feel like it was my fault, because i couldn't see how sick he was, and didn't realize how bad it had gotten, and i should have been able to protect him from getting sick in the first place.

ah mommy guilt, does it ever really get better?

anyway, fast forward to a few days ago when he started to complain that his tummy didn't feel good. and then he had to keep going to the bathroom. the week before his sister had come down with a terrible stomach bug, and i wasn't surprised that he was feeling the effects too.

part of me knew that it would pass. it was the kind of thing that antibiotics didn't help, but at least he was old enough and big enough i could give him something for his tummy, unlike poor fish who moaned and complained and took four hour naps. (also, pullups are great for some things, but they do not contain the big messes. lucky for me i had a blanket on the couch that day.) there was another part of me that was worried that this would develop into something more serious. and so i kept him home.

it's been two days of him "not feeling well." and of him chugging gatorade. but also he's been sitting and watching cartoons and chasing the cats and playing video games. and complaining that he's bored and wants to ride his bike outside. and not once did he lose his appetite, unlike fish who refused to eat.

so i realized earlier today that, though he was sick, he is also a very smart boy. smart enough to play off my worry and guilt. and when the wrestling and jumping around rivals the activity levels on the best days of summer vacation, i know he's not all that sick. so i gave him an ultimatum: if he was well enough to go outside and play with his brother this afternoon, then he was well enough to go to school tomorrow.

and guess who's not missing his math test tomorrow?

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