my quote of the moment: "if you can attain repose and calm, believe that you have seized happiness." ~julie-jeanne-eleonore de lespinasse

December 30, 2011

christmas super fun time, part two

i will now pick up where i left off, with eating cinnamon rolls just after ripping into everything santa and bubba and pap had given them. if you missed part one, click here.

so, after cleaning up from the shredded confetti of colorful paper, and trying to convince they boys they did not need every single present opened at once, we settled into waiting for the rest of the family to show up. it was a long night for those that played santa, as in my hubby and his dad, so while they napped, i tried to help bubba with dinner.

then all of my sister-in-laws showed up with all their kids. and we all exchanged presents with each other and all the young ones. and then set up dinner and ate and cleaned up. and there was toasting and deliciousness and cuteness and fun. and i probably wouldn't have gotten through all of it if they hadn't needed ice, because i was able to graciously volunteer to run for it, which enabled me to score free coffee from sheetz.

and then everybody went to visit with all the other family they had to go and see. and suddenly it seemed so quiet and late and everybody was ready for bed, even though it was only 6pm. so instead we sat down with the kids and watched the first two "home alone" movies, which my hubby has always loved, and "mr. popper's penguins," which the boys thought was hilarious. and that was christmas day.

we got up on the 26th, and i packed and got everything ready to go, because we were supposed to do a christmas dinner at my moms' that night. and then we waited. and waited. and waited.

see, my father-in-law is a skilled mechanic. and on saturday he had started fixing the breaks on our van. but the one part was wrong, and he needed something different. but the store closed early on saturday, and wasn't open on sunday, and so we needed to wait until monday for him to finish. it was supposed to be quick and easy, and we were hoping to be on the road by noon, 1pm at the latest.

unfortunately, something was wrong. and he tried to fix it. then he took the parts off and got different parts. and then he tried again. and something was still wrong. and he took it all apart again, and tried something else. and nothing was working. and it was getting late. we were supposed be at my moms' by 4pm, but it was 4 and we hadn't even left yet. and then it was 5pm, and he still didn't know what was wrong.

in the end we had to borrow my sister-in-law's car, and finally were able to leave. and we eventually got to my moms', even though we were almost 5 hours late. and the kids were understandably moody, because i had given them snacks, but made them wait to eat so we could actually have christmas dinner with my moms and sisters like we were supposed to, which finally happened just after 9pm. and they were overly excited to see everything else santa had left for them. and it just spiraled out of control, fluctuating between wanting more presents and not wanting anymore christmas ever.

well after such a fun and eventful day, we all slept in very late. and we still made it to my dad's in time for our planned christmas celebration with him on the 27th. it was nice and laid back and it was just good to hang out without having to worry about what was coming next, because it was the last christmas of the season.

and the kids made out like crazy on the presents front. so many toys and games and clothes. so much that we didn't actually open everything. and i'm not really sure we will open everything until we have a house of our own to put it all in.

all in all, things went better than i thought they would. monday was the only day that things got a little out of hand. and that was the day the kids ended up overly stimulated and tired. otherwise the boys did very well. fishie behaved like any almost two year old would.

so i'm thankful that we had a happy and safe holiday.

but mostly i'm thankful i don't have to worry about christmas for a whole year.

December 28, 2011

christmas super fun time, part one

i suppose, after all the worrying and complaining i did about christmas, i should post something about how things went for us. honestly, things went better than i thought they would, though there were some very sticky patches.

i suppose i'll just give all the details, starting with the 23rd. well actually, i'll mention that the boys stayed with my dad and paula overnight on the 22nd, because he always likes to keep them sometime around the holidays and take them shopping so they can pick out things for my hubby and i. so most of the night of the 22nd was washing clothes and packing, making sure all the presents were wrapped, and trying not to forget anything. which is honestly impossible for me, because i always forget something. this time it was lumpy's medicine, so thank goodness for rite aid and refills.

anyway, so i get up early on the 23rd, go pick up bumble, and take him to his doctor's appointment in the morning. then i come back to the house to finish packing. eventually my hubby wakes up, my dad and paula bring lumpy home, and we load up the car and head off to my in-laws' house.

instead of jumping right into christmas festivities, we have a surprise birthday party for lumpy, as his actual birthday is a week before christmas, but with the way things are, none of our friends and family from uptown were able to make the party we had here. so, hubby takes all the kids bowling, and i set up for a surprise party, with pizza and cake and fun like that. things went as well as they usually do, but i got a real treat later in the evening. my dear mother-in-law said she would watch all of my kids so hubby and i could go have an "adult night out" with some friends we rarely get to hang out with anymore.

after the fun of friday, i did not exactly get an early start on saturday. but still, there was plenty of time to get back to my mother-in-law's to get the kids ready for christmas eve service. my kiddies looked adorable, the boys so handsome in their ties, and fishie so cute in her dress and patent leather shoes. after service, it was just the kids and my hubby and his parents, so we watched some christmas specials, had some cookies and egg nog and got everything ready for santa. and i still got to read the boys "twas the night before christmas," which has been our tradition since they were little.

well, the next morning they got up and santa came! in truth, dear bumble, my early bird, got up before the sun and went down to check and make sure santa had actually found them. then he sat on the edge of my bed, waiting for me to get up too. that's another lovely christmas tradition.

after waiting forever for their dad to get up, the kids were finally able to open their presents. we took their stockings and a few little things uptown with us, but left most of the big stuff back home, because it would have been just too much to travel with. i even made sure "santa" left a note explaining there were presents waiting for them at the grammies' house. so they were satisfied.

and we had cinnamon rolls and egg nog for our special christmas breakfast. so even though it wasn't french toast, i was still satisfied.

the rest of our christmas exploits i think i will leave for another time. because though christmas day was fun, the events of the 26th were just epic.

December 22, 2011

i feel muzzled... again...

i've felt like this before, and it's why i left for so long. now it's the same all over again.

so many things i want to say, so many things i know i need to keep to myself.

maybe it's just that i don't like to share. maybe it's just that i've gotten myself in trouble for telling too much in the past, and i don't want to do it again. maybe, even though i feel like ranting about certain things, i still believe it's nobody's dang business. maybe i just don't want to look bad, or crazy, or bitchy, in the eyes of others.

i know i know, that's a lot of maybes.

i want to complain but i care too much about what others think.

i also want to complain, but feel like i don't have the right to say anything. i am the one that has gotten myself into this mess, so i have no one to blame but myself for this state of affairs. i'm also the only one that can really change things, so needlessly complaining would just sound whiny and annoying.

so here i am, complaining about complaining. or wanting to complain. or the fact that i want to say  something but i can't.

i'm just as bad as those girls on facebook that post cryptic messages about how something's wrong but people have to guess what, or about wanting to be left alone while seeking attention. oh gods, how i hate those girls.

December 7, 2011

love is worth fighting about

this has been something that has been on my mind for a long while now.

i know they say that love is worth fighting for. that if there is something  you love, something you need in your life and you just can't live without, then you need to fight to keep it. really, that's what love for me, the willingness to go against all odds to make sure you never lose the thing you love. because if  you really didn't love it, you wouldn't fight to keep it so close. and you wouldn't be so upset if that thing was taken from you by forces beyond your control.

now, the flip side of that is that love is also fighting, at least when people and relationships are concerned. if you really love someone, you're going to fight with them eventually, and i personally think that is part of a healthy and normal relationship. if you don't fight, you don't love.

of course, i don't mean abuse, i don't mean physical violence, or emotional, or being overly controlling. that's not fighting. fighting is two-sided, fighting is give and take. when it is all one-sided, it is time to step back and realize that there is something very wrong and broken in your "loving" relationship.

still, fighting is good. nobody gets along all the time. nobody agrees all the time. and even those closest to us, those who's views are most similar to us, there is always going to be something there that you won't agree about. and if you don't fight about your disagreements, if you don't fight for what you believe, then it's not something important. or the person you're disagreeing with isn't that important.

maybe i have a slightly skewed view of fighting in relationships, though i feel like it's true for most of the people that i know. i really believe that everybody fights. if you can't come to an agreement, then yes, fighting is futile and harmful. but if you argue, it doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. i think it's more when you stop fighting that there is something to worry about. when the one you love isn't interested enough to disagree and argue and fight with you, when they just nod along to whatever you say, that's when you know the end of your relationship is near.

at least, that's what i believe. and i try to convince my husband of that whenever we start fighting. i fight because i care. it's crazy, but true.