my quote of the moment: "if you can attain repose and calm, believe that you have seized happiness." ~julie-jeanne-eleonore de lespinasse

January 4, 2013

welcome to the new year

it's been a while since i've posted. and i really do hate writing those words, but it does seem like i take a break every few weeks. and then i dissappear for a few weeks. but i'm back! again.

and it's the new year already! it's mostly still new. and so i'm going to post a few of my hopes and wishes for this new time, pretty much like every other person anywhere is doing right now.

first, allow me to make the usual excuses for my absence. simply, i blame life. yes, all of it. the unpredictability, the bills and worries and school and family. and kids being kids. life and being out living it and dealing with it and sometimes just struggling to get through it is why i haven't been around.

and now that the excuses are out of the way, on to the promises: i will post more. i will be here and i will share and i won't pull dirty tricks like writing ten posts in one day just set to auto publish. i'll be here and around and will let you all know what is going on. as much as i'm able to at least.

see, that seems to be my problem. i have a very specific line, defined over years of trial and error, of the things i will and will not talk about here. and the biggest thing that happens in my life is that i get so overwhelmed by something i can't see anything else going on in my life. and if that something is a something i refuse to discuss on the interwebs, then i kind of don't have anything to write here.

so that's my other resolution if you will. and something i've been trying to work on for a long time. i am attempting to see more going on in my life then my problems. me being overwhelmed by them is an understatement, sometimes i feel like i'm drowning. and it's not good for anybody when that happens. everything else in my life gets fuzzy when i begin to obsess on one specific issue. and i know i can't do that, i have too much going on at all times. i just don't have to luxury to act that way. i need to realize that sometimes things will work themselves out, and so instead of worrying about the things i can't change and all the stuff i have no control over, i need to shift my efforts and energy to the things i can affect. and then i need to pull back a little further and see all the things in my life that aren't problems or to-dos, all the wonder and amazing things that are always present that i forget to notice when things get stressed.

i'd make other resolutions, but really those are the things that need the most work in my life. i have been and will be working on them, getting better at seeing the wonders of the world around me and sharing it here with you. and honestly, they're not new resolutions, they're my everyday, trying to get better at, slowly but surely improving type things. because working harder at connecting to the people around us is something i think we all need to work a little harder on, every day.

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