my quote of the moment: "if you can attain repose and calm, believe that you have seized happiness." ~julie-jeanne-eleonore de lespinasse

December 8, 2010

i'm at it again

maybe i'm just a gluten for punishment. maybe i'm addicted to sugar. or maybe cooking, and especially baking, calms me. so what if i made a cake yesterday and plan on making cookie bars today? it's not like i plan on eating everything all by myself. "plan" i think is the key word in that sentence, but i have this magical thing called will power that will help me prevail. i hope.

anyway, it's been a tough week or so. or at least since we came back from visiting during the thanksgiving holiday. the christmas rush has really started, so there's a huge list of things i need to buy and do and make sure are taken care. and the buying part always causes extra stress because there is always the fun of trying to figure out where all the money needed is going to come from. then is trying to find the time to get to the stores and hide the gifts so nosey little boys don't find all their presents and ask why santa is storing gifts at our house. plus the decorating, and making all the food and special things i want to give, and just finding the time to get everything done.

and of course, all that is in addition to all the normal day to day chores that make up my life, the food shopping and the laundry and the cleaning, the homework and making meals and general taking care of the children and hubby and house. so getting sick last week not only kicked my butt and kept me in bed, but it really threw a monkey wrench into my time table, and now i feel totally behind on my list of things i need to do.

add to that the extra fun that has come along into my life at this moment. mostly it's random "tests" that need to be performed on my father-in-law and on bumble, nothing at all to do with the other except that there is something going on with both of them and nobody is quite sure what. bumble's issues are more of a behavioral and developemental thing, but my father-in-law's are a very serious health thing that he's going back out to pittsburgh to see his specialists about, and hopefully with all the tests their doing today, we'll all get some answers tomorrow.

so yes, the normal fun of life and the stresses of the holiday season and the unknown elements of random issues have all come together just as i'm getting better from my cold. i think life just wants to see how much i can take before i break. but i will not go down without a fight! or baked goods. and so i'm at least doing the one thing that i know i can do. sugar might not make all the bad things better (i'm not crazy enough to think that), but in my kitchen there are good things happening, no matter the insanity of the outside world.

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