maybe it's a sign that the world is coming to an end. or it's the apocalypse. or the sky is falling. or today is opposite day and nobody told me. i am confused. i am frightened. i need somebody to hold me.
today, i found a chocolate i didn't like.
for valentines day, my hubby bought me this gift package from 1-800-flowers. the website made it look so awesome, with a cute little stuffed dog, a box of chocolates, and a little rose plant in a pretty pot. well, i have issues with delivery guys in general, not finding my house and all, but this time they did find the house. the problem was that they dropped the box on my porch and didn't knock or anything, so i'm not sure how long it was sitting outside. the other problem is that the box was sitting sideways, so when i finally got it inside and opened it up, all the dirt had spilled out of the pot and gotten all over everything else. i could have just blamed the delivery guy for not knocking, but i also blamed 1-800-flowers for the fail packing and shipping.
in the end, my hubby was so upset that his gift was so wrong that he complained. to make amends, they sent a gift card. not for the whole amount, but it was at least most of it. and i had liked the dog and the chocolates that i had gotten, so i wasn't going to complain anymore.
anyway, with the gift card they sent i went and ordered more chocolates because i didn't trust them to send more flowers. flowers that i would have eventually killed anyway because i don't have a green thumb. i don't even have a brown thumb, i have a black thumb of certain death.
so the other day, my yummy looking replacement box of chocolates came. and again they were just thrown on the porch, but at least i got a delivery conformation email so i could walk over to the door and open it to find the box.
i'm trying to be a good and responsible type person and not eat the whole box in one sitting. so i've been limiting myself to one or two pieces a day. there is no helpful list in the box of what each piece might be. some people might like the surprise of not knowing what each piece will contain, but i personally like knowing exactly which filling is where. what if i'm feeling like caramel and end up with a piece of vanilla cream? that'd still be happy, but not as happy as getting the piece i'm actually hungry for.
still, i've been throwing caution into the wind and eating the chocolates anyway. today though, disaster struck. i popped a piece of chocolate in my mouth and chewed. it was raspberry cream! not that i have anything against raspberries, but i'm not a fan of them mixed with chocolate. and this piece was ten times worse than any raspberry and chocolate type candy i've had in the past, because the cream part had seeds in it. maybe it was to show that it was "real raspberry" or make it seem "homemade," but seriously, it was just gross. crunching through the outer chocolaty exterior is one thing, crunching through seeds on the inside is something else entirely. i actually spit it out.
it felt so crazy and surreal, spitting out chocolate. i thought that surely something must be wrong with me, because i am a lover of all things chocolate. and even if i didn't love it, i normally would have still finished it. but to spit it out? that's unheard of.
the really worst part was that i took another piece to make myself feel better about getting such a crappy one. i guess they had put two pieces of raspberry cream in the box. i'm seriously considering giving the rest of them to my kids and sticking with hershey bars. at least i know they're safe.