what's your name again?

because i have a lot on my mind right now, i think it's time to get something off my chest. so it's confession time, where i will reveal a dirty little secret of mine. though it might not be much of a secret, the fact that i am a scatter-brain should already be known throughout the land.

the secret is simply that i am terrible at remembering names.

maybe you're thinking that you are too, and it's not so big of a deal. i promise you, i am much worse than you are.

and i already know all the tricks that are supposed to help. the mnemonic associations you're supposed to make. physical traits that you keep in mind that are meant to help jog your memory. all of that and more i already know, and none of it helps.

whenever i am introduced to a person, chances are i've already forgotten your name by the time i introduce myself. this is probably due to the fact that i am such a socially awkward penguin that i am freaking out in my own head over the proper procedure for small talk.

which, though i'm bad at, i can remember. i have a gift at remembering what i talk about with a person. every stupid little thing, i can recite an entire conversation verbatim. and though sometimes interesting, i think it is more annoying than anything. it's great that i can remember that you just moved into a new house and that your grandma makes killer biscuits and you really don't like your boss at work, but can i stop you for a sec so you can tell me your name again?

the nice thing about this society of ours is that after meeting someone for the first time, we don't have to use names in conversations. i can ask questions and get my point across. i can talk for hours and seem engaged and interested, and usually i really am. but i'd never be able to introduce you to someone else. i would stand there silently and hope that you'd eventually introduce yourselves.

now though, if my name remembering problem wasn't bad enough, my social life has thrown kids into the mix. so now, if we go to school or scout functions, not only do i have to remember the parent's name, i also have to remember their children's names. i could point through a crowd and match up parent and child, but give me a list of names and i'm totally lost. thankfully my boys aren't forgetful like i am, and i can usually ask them.

in closing, names are very overrated. and i should be congratulated for remembering the person and not their moniker. i also think that name tags should be mandatory at every party, even if it's a group of people that have met countless times before.

now next time we meet, don't test my knowledge of your name. because i'd probably fail. and then things would be awkward for everybody.