my quote of the moment: "if you can attain repose and calm, believe that you have seized happiness." ~julie-jeanne-eleonore de lespinasse

March 15, 2012

boys vs. girls

i was going to write a long and rambling post about how boys are easier to raise than girls. and i had written most of it, so when i say "long and rambling," i really mean it.

honestly though, the simple truth is kids are kids. and when they start as babies, it doesn't matter what they have under their diaper, they need food and clothing and love and safety. and when they get to the child stage, they still need all of that, plus the freedom to explore their world and the reassurance that they are going to be ok at all times. the needs of children are simple things.

it's when life throws you a curve that things get not so simple, and as they get older, dealing with kids as they turn into tweens and teens gets more and more complicated. but i don't think it has anything to do with a break down along the gender lines. we as parents are raising our children to be their own person, to be individuals, and to lump all boys together or all girls together along some gender biased line seems wrong to me.

all kids are unique and they will present their parents with unique challenges. they will have their own strengths and weaknesses, and we, as we raise them, are supposed to show them how to highlight the best in themselves while trying to help them deal with the worst.

maybe i think like this because i'm not trying to raise my boys as "boys" or my dear fish as a "girl." i just want happy kids. and if that means that fish plays with monster trucks and wrestles and gets muddy, i'm all for it. and if one of the boys would rather help in the kitchen and have tea parties with his sister, then why should i stop him? i love my kids for who they are, not for what i can make them become. but then, i'm beginning to realize i might be in a minority with that kind of crazy talk.

still, there is one way in which boys are easier to raise than girls, at least for me. because fish has such beautiful hair, curly and shiny and blond like mine was, i don't want to cut it. and let me say, after years of getting away with giving the boys buzz cuts, actually having to brush a toddler's hair sucks.

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